Better than sex cake

Hi, I'm a cake with a ridiculous name, and I don't look very pretty. In fact, I'm really, really ugly and un-photogenic. But I taste awesome. So awesome.

The name. It refers to the combination of pineapple and coconut infused in a vanilla cake. I didn't make it up, apparently this is a legit thing. Go ask Paula Dean. Not really sure if it's bette... yeah. But I will say it's pretty fantastic ;)

For the cake:

1 box of vanilla cake mix, along with whatever ingredients the mix calls for (eggs, oil, water)
20 ounce can of crushed pineapple, with juice separated from pineapple
1 cup sweetened shredded coconut flakes

For the frosting:

12 ounces cream cheese
3 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 stick salted butter, at room temperature

For the topping:

1 cup sweetened shredded coconut flakes

Preheat the oven according to cake mix directions.

In a large bowl, prepare the mix according to cake mix directions. Add in the drained, crushed pineapple and the shredded coconut. Pour into two greased 9" round cake pans and bake according to cake mix directions.

Meanwhile, in a medium bowl and using an electric mixer on medium speed, beat the cream cheese and butter together until fluffy. Add the vanilla extract and beat until combined. Next add the confectioner's sugar in small batches, beating after each addition. You can store the frosting in the fridge until the cake is ready to frost.

When the cake comes out of the oven, let it sit for ~10 minutes, then flip it out of the pan and make small indentations with a fork throughout the cake. Pour 2-3 ounces of the pineapple juice saved from earlier over each cake. Allow to soak for at least 20 minutes before assembling cake.

Place remaining 1 cup of coconut on bakesheet and bake until golden brown, 6-9 minutes. Make sure to stir the coconut half way through. Be very watchful of the coconut-- it takes seconds for toasted to turn to burnt.

Frost the cake in layers, then add the shredded coconut to the top. Et voilà!

Recipe by me

Samoa girlscout cookies!

2 hours, 10 burnt fingertips, a frustrated me, and a messy kitchen later, they were finished. Other than the fact that these were a bitch and a half to make, these Samoa cookies are bomb. But they're definitely not for the faint of heart. Or the faint of, erhm, expertise? I don't know. Just expect to get frustrated like five times in the process. Verdict? They are worth the effort. Totally.

Makes about 32 cookies

For the shortbread:

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 cup confectioner's sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon vanilla extract

For the coconut bit:

14 ounces sweetened, shredded coconut
14 ounces soft chewy caramels (like Kraft Caramels)

For the chocolate:

3/4 cup semi-sweet or bittersweet chocolate
2 tablespoons shortening
4 tablespoons confectioner's sugar
2-3 tablespoons water

Heat oven to 350ºF. Line bake sheet with parchment. Place coconut on bakesheet and bake until golden brown,  10-15 minutes. Make sure to stir the coconut half way through. Be very watchful of the coconut-- it takes seconds for toasted to turn to burnt.

Place butter and sugar in a bowl and beat until light and creamy. Add vanilla and beat until combined. Add flour and beat until combined. Place dough in refrigerator and chill for 20 minutes. Turn out dough on a lightly floured surface and roll out the dough to an 1/8 of an inch in thickness.

Using a two inch round cookie cutter stamp out cookies and for the center use the wider end of a piping tip if you don’t have a small enough cookie cutter. Place stamped out cookies on parchment lined bakesheet and bake for 10-12 minutes. Cool cookies on a wire rack.

Place caramel squares in a medium size sauce pan over medium heat to melt. Once the caramel bits are completely melted reserve ½ a cup of mixture in a shallow bowl; set aside. Add the toasted coconut to the remaining caramel mixture. Fill a shallow pan with hot water and place saucepan filled with the finished caramel coconut in it to keep the mixture at spreading consistency. Reheat mixture as needed to maintain spread consistency during assembly.

Dip tops of cookies into the reserved caramel bowl. This will help the sticky caramel coconut mixture to quickly adhere to the cookie. Place cookie on a flat surface and using an icing spatula or butter knife spread caramel coconut mixture on to the cookie. If necessary, use a spoon to guide the caramel coconut spread off the icing spatula and on to the cookies. Let cookies rest for 30 minutes before dipping the bottoms in chocolate and drizzling the striping on top.

Place chocolate and shortening in a bowl over simmering water. Let chocolate and cream sit for 2-3 minutes to melt without stirring. Then slowly stir mixture to combine. Add powdered sugar and mix to combine. Add water 1 tablespoon at a time, mixing after each addition until pouring consistency is reached. Set aside and let sauce cool to warm.

oh hey where'd they go....

Recipe adapted from Bakers Royale.